LOLCATS!! I CAN HAZ CHEEZEBURGERZ

Ha ha, not really lolcats. Here are some pics of my kittens.

There are 3 of them as you can see. I named them Hunter, Killer, and Hunter-Killer.

But I think my family would be uncomfortable with the names so they would name them some cutesy Disney-esque names like Fluffy, Smokey or Happy-Baby.

Yeah right now they might look cute but wait a year heh heh heh. They'll hunt and kill rats, chicks (the animal kind not the human kind ok), birds, pet goldfish, centipede, and snakes. Hopefully they hunt and kill "biawak" or monitor lizard.

Oh yeah, I live in a "kampung" or village. There are snakes and centipedes and one time a monitor lizard tried to come into the house. Yep, one day my mum walked out the front door to get into the car to go shopping. Suddenly she honk the horn several times while shouting my name. I went outside to look and she yelled "capat! kasi mati itu biawak! (hurry, kill that sob!)" while pointing at a monitor lizard crawling away from the front porch. I yelled back "Hah?! Macam mana mau kasi mati oh? Pakai ini selipar Jipun pukul sampai mati kah? Bah mana itu kunci bakakuk sia timbak dia lah (hah?! How the heck do I kill it? Alrighty then, where's the key to unlock the sawed off shotgun, I'll go shoot it)". Anyway the lizard got away safely.

If I somehow managed to kill it though, we'll be having lizard soup that night. Yuck. My family actually likes to eat weird stuff like "gawir (Borneo Fruit Bat)" porridge. Or turtle eggs that looked and smelled like mucus when I had a cold. Gross to the max! Errr, I mean these animals are endangered species and it is bad to eat them because they produce guano and stuff that makes "vegetable trees" and "fruit trees" grow and stuff. And yeah we need to stop killing and eating them because we need to save the world and preserve it for world peace and the Green movement and for all the Ecosystem to work, yeah. Yeah, thats it.

Anyways, here is another picture of my kittens with their mama.

Cute fellas aren't they?

My Dream House is a House Built by My Father's Hand

It will make you laugh.
It will make you cry.
It will make you stand up in righteous anger.
It will make you think deep thoughts.
It will... move you...

I present to you, House by Linus Chong, from 15Malaysia Films.

Rocket Science

If you have not seen this film, I implore you to watch it. Twice. It is so powerful. It is so Anti-Idiocracy. It is so laden with meaning, both overt and covert, and it has a kick ass soundtrack to boot. The best part? You don't have to be a rocket scientist to understand it.

"The fights you fight today are the fights you fight until you die. "

Holy cow. Now that got me thinking. Why are we fighting to keep breathing? Why not just give up lie down, and stop breathing? Why keep living in this world where so much evil exist, so much pain inflicted, so much suffering endured? Why are we fighting to survive everyday? Why didn't the famine stricken people in Africa just kill themselves to save them from their pain and misery? Why didn't the survivors of war - Iraq, Afghanistan, Vietnam - just give up and migrate to another country?

And then it hit me.

Because I am. Because They are. Because we are.

Why I Like Japan

A long time ago when I was studying in Hawaii, I had the fortune (misfortune?) to get people from all over the world as room-mates. 3 of the more memorable people I met are Takashi, Nobuhiro aka Nobu, and Nozomu. At that time I was your typical goodie two shoes nerdboy going overseas the first time. They, on the other hand, were your typical Japanese youth; chain smoking, Kirin beer drinking and cracking dirty jokes and being funny in a lewd way all the time. Titanic Culture Crash! Err, Clash!

The first thing I learn from them is the art of sleeping in the hall. One day, I was coming back from an afternoon class. I opened the door to the apartment, and lo and behold! I saw three guys lying on the floor! I thought oh my god, they must have been knocked out by gas! Better call 911 quick! And then one of them got up, went to the bathroom, took a piss, flushed, and went back down lying on the floor. Later that night I found out that its a normal thing to do in Japan. Woookay.

Another thing I learn from them is reading manga. And their manga has centrefold of pictures of naked gravure star. I shit you not my friend, they have pictures of naked girl in the middle of a book full of cartoon drawing. Imagine reading through Gempak and then suddenly seeing a naked girl right after reading Hikayat Sang Wira and before reading Pertempuran Pahlawan Perkasa. Imagine reading through Fung Wan or Wira Tunggal and then suddenly seeing a naked girl in between the pages where Wunan unleashes Tinju Maut Matahari Selatan 99 Petala Langit. Imagine reading the Simpsons and you see on the page to left Bart saying "eat my shorts!" while on the page to the right a naked Ayako holding a short shorts.

The last thing I learn from them was watching Japanese cartoons called anime. At this time, the ones they had was all in Japanese, so I either had to understand spoken Japanese and read Katakana/Hiragana, or find someone who does. Fortunately, by this time I can speak and understand basic Japanese, and have 2 guys who translates everytime we watch something together. Aaah, I can still remember it.

Alpha-male : "Nobu, what is sukebe?"
Nobu : "oh, it is means old man heh heh heh"
Alpha-male : "Nozomu, what is ecchi?"
Nozomu : "ah, Alpha-male san, it means the good thing, and nice heh heh heh. Neh, Nobu? Good thing nice, heh heh heh"
Nobu : "Sou des! heh heh, come Alpha-male san, we start video of nice hentai heh heh heh"
Alpha-male : "Haaaiii! what does this title mean?"
Nozomu : "Oh, it means evil demon with multiple man snake of python size attack school of angel girls tied up"
Alpha-male : "Oh, sounds like RPG anime... Good thing nice! heh heh heh"

I was kinda sad though when Takashi had to go back to Japan to take over his father's construction business at the end of the first semester. Nobu and Nozomu lived with their girlfriends and we slowly drifted apart. I miss them guys. I miss the crazy talks we have about our man snake.

Alpha-male : "Ore no snake wa Cobra des."
Nobu : "Ceh, ore no snake wa Python des!"
Nozomu : "wahahaha, ore no snake wa Anaconda des! Winner!"

Wherever you are my nakama, I wish you luck. If we ever meet again, I will gladly down a Kirin and talk snake ha ha ha.

Idiocracy

Here is a funny video.

1. Crops organic. But some have pesticide. Make perfect pesticide for the crops. O_o

2. Business downtown needs to lower rent because they are good at making thing; expert in fact at making things. We can be rich and cotton, and mining metals... and silk worms. O_o

3. On the east coast they have slaves and they believe in slavery and made in China. O_O

4. You can grow any kind of vegetables you want. They have fruit trees and vegetable trees. O_O



What the hell is a vegetable trees??!!!!

Robert Kiyosaki Must Be Stopped

Some time back I wrote about Robert Kiyosaki and why he is a fake. I knew about him before his book "Rich Dad, Poor Dad" became famous. This is because he is a Hawaiian, and when I was studying in Hawaii back in 1996, a bunch of my local Hawaiian friends has been to his talks where he tried to do get rich quick seminar called Money and You. I remember my friends said they blew away their money at these seminars that didn't help at all. I remember one story they keep telling me about the seminar giving useless and vague advice regarding financial management. How bad was it? Try, "If you want your money to go up, first you must make it go down" or "The wise grow their money slowly, the foolish burn them quickly". Yep, around this time he was just an average, low income, lying cheater guy.

Everyone I knew in Hawaii said he was a bad businessman. He went bankrupt even though he received business advice from "Rich Dad" when he was a kid! He actually went bankrupt twice! So we all know he didn't become a millionaire before he wrote his book and the advice he gave us in the book "Rich Dad, Poor Dad" didn't help him from being bankrupt, twice. So how did he become a millionaire? From selling overpriced board games.

Way back in 1992, Robert has already written a book called "If You Want to Be Rich and Happy, Don't Go To School?" He did not make million out of selling this book. And then he invented the overpriced board game called Cashflow 101. He didn't hit gold from selling this overpriced board games, because well it is just too damn expensive. So he wrote another book in 1997, endorsed by a greedy money grubbing certified public accountant called Sharon Lechter, that advocates his overpriced board game as a great learning tool. Initially self published, it was then picked up by a big publisher "Warner Books". This big publisher hypes the book up until it became a bestseller. The readers naturally orders the board game and voila! one rich liar. His wealth increases when he creates more overpriced board games and publishes books that cater to these games.

And you know what is the best part about the whole thing? His book "Rich Dad, Poor Dad" is full of useless and vague advice that he rehashes from his Money and You period. One of his advice was "If you're gonna go broke, go broke big".

What. The. Fish.

I have a friend who used to be a co-worker at a company we used to work at. One day, he told me he was going to start a business with a few friends. He was going to start a cybercafe, so he invested all his savings which I think was around $15k. He took out a bank loan for another $20k, and pooled his money with his friends, and started the business. I told him it was his life savings, this is a big responsibility and whatnots. He said it was ok, he read a book and bought the board game and now knows how to escape the rat race. Needless to say, the business tanked, they lost a total of $150k I believe, and he got a low paying job at a government post. Thank you Mr Two Times Bankrupt, you have now made my friend a bankrupt as well! And now he owes the bank $20k too!

New blogs!

I am starting 2 new blogs today, Technogeek and Entrepreneur. I did this to reduce the clutter that my old blog has become. Yeah it was a mish mash frankenstein monster wreck. Boy am I glad it disappeared. With this move I hope it will be easier to navigate the new site and cut down on the noise, better noise vs signal ratio and all that.

Anyway here's a current breakdown on what's what.

Alpha-male Diatribe
The main blog where I will be talking about society, my worldview, movies, jokes and stuff.

Alpha-male Technogeek
I will be talking about everything related to science and engineering. Stuff like building a SSTO, writing software for Iphone, Windows Mobile 6, and Google Android. Some tutorials here and there. Stuff about my me moving from IT consulting to becoming an ISV.

Alpha-male Entrepreneur
I have been growing 2 businesses in tandem which are totally unrelated to each other. One is in IT industry, the other is in aquaculture. I will be talking about how to effectively run a business as well as problems faced in these 2 businesses.

Humanity is Becoming Stupider

http://video.msn.com/video.aspx?mkt=en-sg&vid=64e1d741-5f0c-4592-bee7-bc73374c17c2

Yup. This piece of news has sealed the fate of humanity. This news reminds me of a 2006 film called Idiocracy. The world is degenerating into a dystopia where advertising, commercialism, and cultural anti-intellectualism run rampant and dysgenic pressure has resulted in a uniformly stupid human society devoid of individual responsibility or consequences. I don't know what the hell I just wrote but that is the synopsis for the film ha ha ha. Anyway, the gist of the film is about how society sacrificed intellects for commercialism, doing ridiculous things just for the sake of entertainment. You know, things like kicking guys in the balls, running gameshows that physically and mentally abuse their contestants, and doing superfast sportscar vs jet planes speed contest.

Anyways, a sports car was built for acceleration. Thats why you see terms like 0 mph to 60 mph in 3 seconds. I have never, ever, beaver, seen anyone use that term for a jet aircraft. Imagine people saying "this jet plane can go from 0 mph to mach 3 in 3 seconds!" The resulting sonic boom generated when the plane goes supersonic and hits the Prandtl–Glauert singularity point and the resulting shock wave will not be very entertaining, my friend. Not to mention the high G's that will turn the pilot into a mess of red putty. Unless if they have an inertial dampener, though. Then that might work.

Anyway, how much more entertaining can anything else be? They have Porsche! They have sexy cute looking chicks waving the flag yelling "go! go! go!" as well as the ones posing with the car driver guy. Yeah they can make me go do it all night long! Uh oh, there goes my idiot little brain trying to spread his gene around to make more idiot little brains and contributes to the Malthusian crisis like in the film Idiocracy. Down boy, down! Oh no! Getai! Oh no! Heidi Klum new book! Aaaarrgghh!

Yes, the title is a grammatical pun. If you don't know what I'm talking about, read this
http://en.allexperts.com/q/General-Writing-Grammar-680/Stupid-Stupider.htm
Time to go browsing I R CAN HAZ CHEEZE BURGERZ and start killing my brain cells with picture of cats and the asinine caption accompanying it.

Malaysia's First "Space Tourist" Wasted Money?

I posted this way back in 2007 in another blog. Somehow my blog got eaten by the interweb monster, so I am reposting it again from memory, or whatever I can remember.

I was feeding my fishes, feeling calm, ruminating on the Tao today while listening to the sound of Mythbuster busting some myth on tv. Then, during an advertisement break, I heard about Sheikh Muszaphar Shukor and the space program.

Now many people heard about this guy and how many millions of Malaysian taxpayer money he wasted when he was sent into space. Or.. did he? Hmmm. Since I just mentioned Mythbuster, let us bust this rumour, Mythbuster style!

Myth 1: Sheikh Muszaphar Shukor is really an astronaut, he is not a space tourist.
Mythbuster Alpha: Well this one is kinda easy to disprove. The term astronaut are similar to "Argonauts". What are Argonauts? Well, Argo is a ship. Argonauts - in ancient Greek - literally means "Argo sailors", or people who sail on the Argo. Now fast forward a few thousand years into the future. What are astronauts? Well, astro means star in Greek. So, astronauts, literally means "Star sailors", or people who sail on the stars. So, did Sheikh Muszaphar Shukor sail on the surface of a star? You bet your ass he didn't! If he did, he would be burnt to a cinder and wouldn't be coming back to give RM$8,000 talks per hour in school! Our verdict? BUSTED!
In future Mythbuster:Alpha-Male episode we will also prove why Charles Simonyi, Richard Garriot, and Superman are not real astronauts. News Flash : Nuklearman, as far as Alpha-Male know, is the one and only real astronauts in the world. He was born on the surface of a star called Sol, aged to adulthood in a few hours and came back to earth to whack Superman.

Myth 2: Malaysia wasted 20 million dollars to send Muszaphar to space.
Mythbuster Alpha: Again, this is easy to disprove. The money trails are so easy to follow that this myth can be debunked as easily as shooting a whale in a barrel. Malaysia did not spend a single cents to send Muszaphar to space at all. Yes, the program to send Muszaphar into space is actually free! Why? Well, he was included as part of a package by Malaysia to spend one billion dollars to purchase 18 technologically outdated, obsolete, defective, and dangerously dilapidated Sukhoi 30-MKM fighter jets. Our verdict? BUSTED!
Why Malaysia Ministry of Defense approved the purchase of obsolete and technologically defective products will be covered in future episode of Mythbuster : Alpha-Male.

Yes, Malaysia is full of fucked up liars and idiotic sheeps. Agriculture Ministry parliamentary secretary Rohani Abdul Karim was replying on behalf of the Science, Technology and Innovations Ministry. Through this idiotic sheep of a woman our Science, Crap, and Copycat Ministry, we are now playing batu seremban and gasing, painting batik and pulling the tea aka teh tarik in space, instead of staying grounded and designing a Single Stage To Orbit (SSTO) vehicle. Malaysia Boleh!

Hard for ICT to work in Sabah

It is hard to find local software houses / Independent Software Vendor (ISV) in Sabah. KL sure, Johor yeah, but in Sabah? The ones that call themselves local ISV here cannot truly be called that; they are more like hardware vendors with a small interest in software. Name 1 company in Sabah that deals ONLY in software, and is homegrown; not a small branch of ISV's coming from KL. I cannot recall any. Why is that?

My guess is the drives to reach a high standard in ICT in Peninsular with initiatives like MSC, MDeC, and all other crap are passed over in this State. I mean look at MyKad - it is supposed to be able to be run on 30 applications that ranges from agriculture, healthcare, socio-economics, transportation, and logistics. Look at MyKad usage in Sabah. All they do is tell you if you are a PTI or not (PTI do not carry MyKad, supposedly).

Some people say MSC is overrated money-loser designed to copy-cat the Silicon Valley. They said that Silicon Valley was actually started half a century ago by independent engineers/university students in their garage and hit it big in ICT with silicon chips manufacturing. Then the get rich quick vampires slap the title Silicon Valley recently to impress the Wall Street cows with stock growths before sucking them all dry during the Dot-Com heyday. I say, so what? These engineers/students gets the chance to grow big due to funding from Venture Capitalist (VC) in their area. The only VC I know in Malaysia are those from MSC/MDeC. If there are skilled engineers/students with good invention, well hey, by all means, let MSC/MDeC fund their start up. Now the question is why aren't they here in Sabah?

The other thing that is holding back ICT in Sabah is lack of skilled software engineer. Any Tom, Dick, and Harry can become a developer/programmer. These same people may be a good programmer, but if they do not apply engineering principles in their project, that project is doomed to failure. A software engineer are programmers who apply engineering approach to software development. These are systematic, disciplined, quantifiable approach to the development, operation, and maintenance of a software. Since the last 2 years I was trying to hire people and the first thing I ask is "do you know what is Software Development Life Cycle?" Some answers was "tak tau oh (no idea)", "macam itu Lion King Circle of Life ka? (is it similar to Lion King's Circle of Life)". I FAINT. I shit you not my friends. I don't know if whether the problem lies in the individual, the university that hands them their degrees/diplomas, or if this is the current trend. It has got to stop. One does not go about making software just like that. It has got to follow waterfall process; Requirement Analysis, Design, Implementation, Verification, and finally Maintenance. This is a basic 101 course that all engineering student must take, whether you are software, civil, electronic, or whatever. Don't be fooled by phrases like "oh the system is very small, written in dbase 10 years ago, very easy to do, 1 week you sure can finish it". Especially if the guy who said it is your boss. Until you do a Requirement Analysis, you WILL NOT know how big and complicated the system really is. And when it fails, you are the one conveniently blamed for it. So where are these ISO Compliant Engineering guys hiding?

The final thing that is holding ICT back in Sabah are lack of competent programmers. The last batch of chaps that I talk to only knows 1 or 2 programming languages, usually VB. I've asked "ok I got a MMORPG server called World of Kickasscraft running on RedHat Linux with MySQL as the database. It is basically a C++ program that is started using a Python script that basically acts like a batch file. Oh ya the MMORPG uses LUA to script the events and NPC actions. The client download link, the webpage, signup and registration form is in JSP are hosted using the J2EE GlassFish application server. The client is written in C#, and hey, you want to get some burgers or something to eat?" I usually lose them at RedHat where their eyes start to glaze over and they look straight through me and keep nodding their heads in a clockwork fashion. So does anyone want to make an MMORPG?