Who am I (2)

I graduated from Hawaii Pacific University (HPU) with double majors, Computers and Human Resource at the young age of 23 in 1999. The plan was to complete double masters MIS and MBA, and triple degree, IT, HR, and Psychology. Why Psychology? Well, because I love social experiment, muahahahaha. Ok, so how the hell did double masters and triple degree gets cut down to single degree with double major? Extremely bad timing.

Way back in 1994 when I finished high school and planning what to do in the future, the Asian financial atmosphere was pretty bullish. Interest rates were high: you have 11% savings account interest vs 7%-8% loans. So I decided hey, I can take a twinning program here and the choose an affordable and accredited university overseas. I spent 2 years at Rima College, and then in 1996 I transferred to HPU.

First year was fun! Money was plentiful, I met people, experienced things, did stuff, learned a lot. Every quarter my dad transferred sums that although doesn't enable me to live in opulence, it allows me to live relatively well of. Then 1997 arrived and the shit hits the fan. Funds dried up to a trickle; everything came crashing around me. From middle of '97 the money that was transferred decreased. End of 97 till mid '98 the exchange rate of RM2.40 to a dollar ballooned to RM4.80 to a dollar! Goddamned financial crisis, Soros for trying to "capitalize" by speculating, and Mahathir for not making the country's economic dealings transparent enough. The damage was done by local banks being greedy schmucks; Soros only comes into the picture later ok Mr Ex Prime Minister? Why the hell were you trying to divert blame to some outsider guy? You have a stake in some of the banks or something and trying to unload your stake while it is still profitable?

On hindsight, I should've have asked my dad to transfer the whole 4 years amount budgeted for my studies back in 1996, and put a quarter in 1 years FD, a quarter in 2 years FD, and another quarter in 3 years FD, and the last quarter in 4 years FD. Que sera sera.

Before the crisis I was getting 10k per quarter, now I am only getting 5k. Tuition fees, books, etc cost 4k per quarter. WTF? I get to spend only 1k per quarter? Before the crisis, I budgeted and saved well enough that I can afford to buy and return ticket home to spend the summer at home. Now all I can afford is eating instant noodles once a day to stay here and study! (Back then I calculated how much to spend and on what to spend that money on. Yeah it was that bad, 1 pack of instant noodle per day.) Around this time I was considering giving up, going back home, and become a farmer. But then I thought to myself, I'm here, halfway done, I hate doing things halfway because thats not how I roll.

I'm the kind of guy who plays the same game 3 - 4 times in a row, or read the same book 3 - 4 times, and thus misleading other people to perceive me as never finishing anything. In fact, what they saw was me playing a game the third time halfway and tossing it away for a new game that just came out just to finish it multiple times, play halfway the fourth, and the tossing it for yet another game. Yeah I'm the kind of guy who likes to do things multiple times unless shit happens.

So there I was, at the crossroad of my life. I decided to salvage whatever I could, ditched the extra courses for master, and focused on getting a degree as best as I could. To supplement my meager finances, I decided to do odd jobs here and there, anything to make ends meet. I worked in a shoe store, became a librarian, worked as clerk, worked in a pizza shop, oil distribution center, and some places that is degrading which I will never ever talk about. I did things no man should. They will haunt me forever.

It was also at this time I discovered how cheap fast food really was. Prior to the financial crisis, I have been going to Chinatown to eat rice or noodle. They cost from $5 to $9 flat. During the crisis, I found out that fast food at different days cost much, much less. Burger King Whoppers normally cost $3.99, but on Mondays they only cost $1.99! McDonalds cheeseburgers normally cost $0.99, but on Tuesdays they only cost $0.49! Jack in the Box Chicken burger normally cost $1.99, but on Wednesdays they are as low as $0.99! Food problem solved! From Monday to Friday, I have a schedule for fast food to cut cost. Chinatown? Only on the weekends.

Before the crisis I was an active sportsman; I played tennis, basketball, badminton, I jog, rode bicycles, played pool, darts, swim, etc. I weighed 160 pounds or so and I'm 5'7'', so my body mass index or height weight ratio is quite good. After I found out about fast food, I gained 100 pounds within 2 years. I shit you not my friends, fast food is bad for you.

During the whole time I was rampaging, fueled with rebellious rage. I walked around in a T-Shirt that says 'Fuck You'. After a while the anger subsided. I accepted my fate of becoming second best, instead of becoming all that I can be. So I toughed it out, and got my degree in 1999. Then came back to KL and started working. But the pain and the bitterness is still there at the back of my mind. There's some demon loose in my soul, and sometimes they grab me and won't let go. When this happen, the best advice I can give you is run and don't turn back.

So what lesson do I have for you from all this? Never, ever plan. Politicians have plans, economist have plans, traders have plans. Planners are schemers attempting to pathetically control the world. Look where it got us Mr Ex President. Me? I had plans. I was a schemer. Look where it got me ha ha ha.

I don't have a plan. Do I look like a man with a plan nowadays? I'm like a dog chasing cars. Wouldn't know what I'd do if I ever caught one. Nowadays, I just do things. You ever heard of Zen or Tao? Nowadays I live my life that way. By just being myself.